Dear Cassie,
I am 25 and have been seeing my boyfriend for two years and we have a great relationship. He just asked me to move in with him and I'm not sure if I should. We both work long hours and don't spend much time at home, let alone with each other, so the time we do have together is very precious. We have talked about getting married at some point, and this might be his way of testing the waters, but I don't know if living with him will help me to know him better, or if I might find out things I don't want to know. What do you think?
Amy, Fort Worth, Texas

Dear Amy,
Living together is a common arrangement and a good way to get to know someone before you make a marriage commitment. You will be able to spend a lot more time together, and no doubt will find out a lot more about each other than you ever expected, so it is a good time to be sure he is someone you can live with before taking that next big step.

However, if you are a neat freak and he is a slob, you are an early riser and he is a night owl, or you like to have friends over for social hour and he wants to relax with a good book, then you might want to think twice about moving in. Open and honest communication is an important part of a relationship, and you should discuss what it'll take to live together harmoniously before considering it.

Ask yourselves these questions. What are your objectives for moving in together? What will your schedules be like? How will household chores be divided? How will you handle the finances like rent, utility, and grocery expenses? Will you be more like roommates, or have a relationship like a husband and wife? How will your families react to your living together? How will you resolve conflicts and disagreements?

Make sure you've discussed all these questions and any other concerns you have, and both feel comfortable with the arrangements, before making a final decision.

Best of luck to you and your boyfriend.

Cassie

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